Now I feel my internet dating dabbles have been pretty disastrous (please refer to The Sober Date and Return of Betty) but after hearing this story from a friend this weekend I have realised I got off pretty lightly with savoury snack cheersing and strange emails:
My friend Kate* had been chatting to Dan* fairly frequently on one of the more serious focused dating websites, they seemed to get along well and so decided to meet up for some drinks in the centre of town.
After some enjoyable times in the pub the pair decided to head back to Dan’s abode for some further beverages, so far so good.
When they got in Kate sat down while Dan selected a film for them to watch- Saw 3.
An interesting first date choice but Kate went with it (although confused as to why he particularly opted for the third film).
After half an hour of blood filled debauchery onscreen Dan appeared to want to make himself more comfortable and slipped off his trousers and sat silently in his pants.
A few minutes passed and it would appear Dan was still not comfortable and so he decided to ditch the boxers. After sitting for a while he asked Kate if she would like another drink and sauntered off to the kitchen to get the wine, tackle swinging freely around in the process.
It is at this point I question as to why Kate did not make a sharp exit but instead she accepted the wine and tried to carry on as normal.
That was until Dan began to pleasure himself whilst staring at the screen. Yes that is right, Dan was partaking in some solo action whilst using the third in the Saw series as his porn.
Again most normal people would have fled the scene and just banked it as a good pub story but not Kate ladies and gentlemen, when I questioned what she did she simply shrugged and said '‘well I helped him out’'
Romance apparently is not dead.
* As always names have been changed (slightly) to protect embarrassment, although not Saw 3 Dan, he deserves to be outed